Author Archives: Cindy Reed

About Cindy Reed

I hate pants.

The Hair Intervention.

I have padded sock-footed on the edges of groups all my life, not so much disallowed from their embrace as disallowing myself, peering through their windows Little Match Girl-style, drawn by their golden circle of lamplight spilling onto the sidewalk. … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | 24 Comments

Swimming Laps with Helen Mirren and Santa.

Helen Mirren tugs her white Lycra swim cap over her sleek silver bob, then pops on her pink swim goggles. She smooths her swim skirt and eases herself into the water. Santa is already here. Santa is always swimming laps … Continue reading

Posted in Self Improvement | 19 Comments

The Yips.

In sports, they call it “the yips” – a sudden and inexplicable loss of fine motor ability. An athlete’s skills simply vanish – no more pitching strikes, serving aces, or shooting free throws. I’ve had the yips. I lost my … Continue reading

Posted in shut up and write already, These posts are not funny., Uncategorized | 14 Comments

I have lost my words.

I have lost my words and I am failing my literary idols. Norman Mailer, whose towering work of creative nonfiction, The Executioner’s Song, made me want to write in that genre, said that “[i]f you tell yourself you are going … Continue reading

Posted in I am the weakest link. Goodbye., These posts are not funny. | 40 Comments

“They won’t mind if we sort of steal these pumpkins.”

I needed twelve mini-pumpkins stat for Akeyla’s birthday party craft – the only craft I’d planned for the preschoolers who would be descending on my home in a mere two hours. The pumpkin patch was closed. Who the fuck closes … Continue reading

Posted in Inappropriate Behavior | Tagged , , , , | 10 Comments